Jackie (reckleslinguist) wrote,

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St. Patty's Day Top Ten (Lookout, Letterman!)

Yes, folks, it's that time of year again.  The day when "go green" takes on a meaning beyond environmental consciousness.  Therefore, I pass along to you the contents of the greeting card my dad presented me with this morning.  I must credit American Greetings of Cleveland, Ohio, as apparently they are the authors of the following.  So, without, further ado:

Top Ten Leprechaun Complaints

10.  They find a certain cereal to be neither magical nor delicious.
  9.  Even with the seat down, they keep falling into the toilet.
  8.  Santa's elves are always stealing their women.
  7.  It's hard to hold your whiskey when your built like a 4-year old.
  6.  After you've heard "Top o' the mornin'" a few thousand times, you'd kill for a plain old 
  5.  Pots o' gold aren't worth all that much after taxes.
  4.  It's not easy to outrun a riding mower.
  3.  Every time they wash their outfits the entire load of laundry turns green.
  2.  You try being cute and whimsical 24/7.

  And the number one Leprechaun complaint is...

  1.  Let's just say they've got the smallest "shillelaghs" you've ever seen!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Tags: st. patrick's day
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